** This post will be written in metaphors because it is easier for me to express myself this way at the moment **
You know how sometimes life is compared to a ride on a rollercoaster? Well, the cart I was riding just flew off of the rail, I was trying to grab on pretty much everything until I got hit in the face.
With a help of dear childhood friend I realized (by myself for a change) that I was riding the ride the wrong way, I was supposed to take my head out of my ass at some point. So, Imagine being hit in the face while your head is in your ass, and also, the sun is in there since you sometimes think that it shines out of it. Anyway, I bet it is a really bad mental image, so imagine how I felt. Before discovering I was riding it wrong I really didn’t see a way out of all the mess I created other than a departure from this world.
So I crawled to this friend, well actually she came to me, I was so devastated that even crawling wasn’t an option.
And she asked me about to what actually happened, and I (my subconscious mind exploded out of my mouth actually) told the truth that I wasn’t seeing because I chose to be the victim.
I could go on and lie to myself without knowing but I know that I can’t lie to that friend; she lives life by NLP.
Since that talk (a week back from this very moment), I decided, for this time, I swore that I MUST fix everything, by fixing myself.
For a while now I was dissatisfied with who I was, and now by the help of NLP (I watch videos on YouTube), I have energy in my body, something I totally forgot the feeling of.
I won’t lie, it is not easy fixing shit that you created, and sometimes I find myself drowning in tears, but I force myself to snap out of it.
it gives me endless powers to do, to create my life, to turn it into what I want it to be.
Two videos: First one is a good explanation of basics of NLP:
And one of my favorites: