Also Known as “Be the change you want to be in the world”.
Do you know this feeling when nothing goes right and it’s not your fault?
You can’t get enough sleep because your neighbor is listening to music, so you wake up too late, your spouse is annoying as fuck; you can’t find your pats and you blame them, they either took it to some other place in the house, or were talking about something, cluttering your mind that you forgot where you put them.
The traffic is slow, the boss is annoying, the weather is shitty, people are stupid. You come home and find a bill for electricity. Those dumb bastards, how the fuck can they send you this fucking bill on this shitty day.
You come home, you realize you forgot to buy bread or whatever. Obviously, it is not your fault because on the way back traffic still sucked, and why the fuck you have to buy it? Let the spouse buy it. You call them to tell them so and they are running in late because they were late for work and… this and that and the world is dropping bombs on you while you do everything you can to save the day.
If that is somewhat your life, I have some good and some bad news for you.
The good news is: everything is up to you. The bad news is: everything is up to you.
Here is an experiment I conducted.
There is a person, let’s call him Mr. Snail that works elsewhere, he is our contact person in this elsewhere firm. Whenever I call him, he sounds annoyed, not willing to answer or even conversate.
I change my usual greeting “Hello, this is Allison, how are you? can you please…”
to “Hello Mr. Snail! this is Allison, how are you? [pause to let him answer], first of all, thank you for [whatever he helped you with previously], I wanted to ask…”
And I swear I could head Mr. Snail smile and mentally pet himself on the head for doing right.
What did I do here? I change my behavior to a more positive one, that made my conversation partner be left with nothing but the need to be positive to me.
Nobody loses here, we only gain.
Where and with whom are you willing to change your behavior to gain more?